You meet a cute girl. You hit it off with her. You begin a night of euphoria. You both keep hanging out. This could be the real deal!
People start talking. Cute girl and you are becoming a thing.
One day you text her, “Hey what’s up?”
No response.
Wait one hour.
You text her again, “Ice Skating Tonight?”
No response.
Read at 10:45. No response for an hour. No response for a whole day. Congratulations loser, you have been given the shaft. Embrace the Radio Silence.
Ahh Radio Silence. Such a beautiful foot in the ass. Having been on the giving and receiving end of said foot, I feel that I am an expert on the phenomenon of leaving them with the deafening, Read Receipt.
So the real question is, what do you when your bae doesn’t answer your texts?
Step 1: Chill out buddy.
Step 2: Accept the facts.
Step 3: Move on. Okay, maybe not that severe.
But in general, if they aren’t responding to you then they have for whatever reason lost interest. Yes, they could be busy and yes they could be away from their phone, but the read receipt does not lie.
Most people don’t like stress. Since confrontations cause stress, it’s the reason why it is so much easier to simply never respond to a text and stick with the awkward small wave in public as opposed to sitting down with someone and telling them, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Cold hearted? Yes. Dastardly? Of course. Hello Darkness my old friend? You know it. Easy to do and low stress? Without a doubt. Initiate Radio Silence.
“But Joe! She was the one!” No, she wasn’t. The “One” wouldn’t give you radio silence. “But Joe! She said we’d grow old together.” You’ll grow old, but not with her. “But Joe! I already picked out a ring!” Y’all weren’t even dating! Jeez.
In times of great social strife I call upon the words of one of the greatest philosophers of our generation. Michael Scott. In the presence of radio silence I quote his most moving statement “She’s not your hoe no mo.”
Let us go over the five stages of radio silence grief.
- Denial: She’s probably busy. Or her phone fell into the toilet.
- Anger: Screw her! She’s the worst! (Good! Use your feelings, boy. Let the anger flow through you to the dark side.)
- Bargaining: Okay if I text once this morning and then call her tonight, then write a letter… (No wonder she stopped talking to you, freak.)
- Depression – *sobbing* She used to call me on my cell phone… (And I know when that hotline bling…)
- Acceptance: Well, there are other fish in the sea. (*applause*)
When it comes to radio silence, don’t do it. Put on your big boy or girl pants and tell the sad sap adios, cause radio silence is not cool.
Are you guilty of radio silencing someone? Have you been given radio silence? Write your experiences below.