There’s something magical about Yik Yak and its users. Something about anonymous messaging that just brings out the best in everyone.

We’ll start with the magical users that post screenshot worthy Yaks. To you all: I give you props. Some of you are genuinely funny and I respect that you used some of your creative brain cells to provide the rest of us with humor. The days can seem really long, but with a simple joke and a screenshot for the squad’s group chat, you’ve made our day. For that, I thank you.

For those who are ingenious, I hope The Launch Pad or someone in the business school takes note so your ideas can actually become reality. You’re street smart and witty, yet realistic. Although you have a sense of humor, anyone reading these will not only laugh but think, “I could’ve thought of that.” I appreciate you for your talent and genius.

Then there are those who like to criticize what’s going on on campus. These are the kind of people who’ll say “It’s a free country, I can say what I want.” Also in this category: those who hated on the Black Lives Matter rally, those who complain about the nap pods (which were donated, stop saying they came from tuition money) and anyone who hates the puppies on campus. Go sit in a corner and think about what you did Yakked.

Finally, there’s this majority of you that I can’t even screenshot. You all genuinely interest me. Quick question: do you actually meet up at 2 a.m. with that other anonymous person? Does that actually happen? I’ve heard of people falling in love on Tinder, Bumble and whatever other app there is, but does that actually happen on Yik Yak? Was it the shape of that anchor on your anonymous icon or was it that both of you had a shade of blue and you knew it was meant to be?

Those that fit in this category are incredibly bored. I’m not including those of you who vent; I mean the ones who say which dorm they live in, what gender they are and what kind of activity they’re looking for that night. Sure, Yik Yak is anonymous, but I’m sure some kid in the engineering school with a degree in computer science can figure out who it is if we’re all really curious about that one Yakker who insists on uploading their Kik screenname. If anyone actually has met up through Yik Yak and it didn’t go terribly, let me know. I’d love to pick your brain about it.

Alina Zerpa is a junior majoring in journalism and psychology, a major Oreo enthusiast, and spends way too much time on Tumblr. 

words_ alina zerpa. photos_alina zerpa.