WHERE WILL OUR INTREPID HEROS FIND THEMSELVES NEXT?
In days of old there were tales of brave adventures traveling the country side protecting towns from bandits and miscreants. But nowadays you don’t recount a story of your perilous trip through the mountains, but instead how you and your friends survived the club. This photoshoot highlights the hero’s you might have in your adventuring party on a night out. So rally the troops and Ubers, we’re going out!
We followed a group of intrepid heroes on an adventure into the Miami wilds. Lets see how they faired…
The Photographer
Wisdom: IIII
Photos Taken: IIIIIIIII
Storage Available: I
Armed with a digital camera and the wisdom of a good Instagram post, The Photographer makes it their sole duty to make sure the night is recorded in history… for better or worse.
The Mom Friend
Intelligence: IIIIIIII
Meds in Purse: IIIIII
Stress Level: IIIIIIIII
Someone has to bear the burden of being responsible, With a purse full of everything our heroes might need, and everyone’s locations on their phone, The Mom Friend is ready for anything.
The Dynamic Duo
Charisma: IIIIII
Gossip: IIIIIIII
Inside Jokes: IIIII
These two are inseparable. They can be found gossiping in the corner or tearing it up on the dance floor. Watch out though, they always seem to have some side quests brewing.
The Runner
Dexterity: IIIIIIII
Side Quests Completed: IIIII
Ubers Ordered: IIIIIII
Blink and you’re too late. Whether its a free spirit or for more nefarious purposes, The Runner loves nothing more than to break a way into the night away from the group.
The Flake
Constitution: III
Functions Missed: IIIIIII
Sleepiness: IIIIIIIII
Not all of our heroes can make it out the door. Sometimes the pregame hits harder than you’d think. For the sake of our fallen heroes, party harder! Give them FOMO so they make sure to come out next time!
words&design_sal puma. photo_valeria barbaglio & wes lucas
This article was published in Distraction’s Winter 2024 print issue.
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