Not getting your recommended eight hugs a day? Yeah, neither is anyone else — but does it really matter? Human touch, or the infamous “skin-to-skin,” plays a bigger role in your well-being than you might think. Lack of it can quietly fuel existential bed rot. The good news? There are easy ways to sneak in a few moments of human connection without texting your ex or getting romantic.
More Than a Feeling
Contact is a universal craving. Jesse Barney, a junior studying criminology at the University of Miami, said she experiences these feelings intensely due to being in a long-distance relationship. So, when she is reunited with her partner, the euphoria of human touch is in full effect.
“It makes me feel at home. It makes me feel safe and grounded,” said Barney.
It’s easy to brush off the importance of touch, especially when bigger concerns — like stress levels and mood regulation — seem to take priority. In reality, human touch deserves a spot right up there with getting enough sleep.
“Touch deprivation can affect sleep quality,” said UM psychology professor Elyse Hurtado. So, not getting enough hugs might actually be a factor in why you’re missing that 8 a.m. class.
“It’s not just that we need to connect or we need to belong. A physical touch can reduce your cortisol while increasing your oxytocin and other neurotransmitters,” said Hurtado. So to speak, touch deprivation can be dumbed down to a lack of social connection, but there’s more beneath the surface.
So, what does that all mean? Cortisol is the body’s primary stress hormone — more touch equals less stress.
“Oxytocin is going to foster emotional bonds, enhance trust between individuals, regulate our mood, and deepen our emotional connections,” said Hurtado.
Craving Connection
Touch deprivation comes in all shapes and sizes.
Junior accounting major Bea Schutte spoke of her own struggles with touch deprivation.
“I live alone at college so I’m not always with people, which can feel isolating and lonely when I don’t force myself to leave my apartment,” said Schutte.
The physical effects are very felt; “No matter what I do to try and combat it, it’s like it takes time for my body to physically adjust to not having [my partner] there,” said Barney.
It’s important to remember that if being touched isn’t your thing, you’re not destined to live a stressful, isolated life either.
“People have different tolerances and different thresholds for being touched based on their experiences with being touched and embraced as a child, and then also if they’ve had any adverse experiences related to touch,” said Hannah Grassie, a pre-doctoral clinical psychology student at UM.
“Being more mindful of it is the first step there,” said Grassie.
In fact, mindfulness is key in anyone’s journey toward skin satisfaction. Because touch deprivation is often overlooked as a predecessor for further mental struggle, it’s important to be aware of it yourself.
“There’s a big emphasis on cognitive factors and touch kind of gets pushed to the side,” said Hurtado. Whereas something like depression more readily comes to mind when wondering why you feel down.
Stop Texting Your Friends
“I’ve noticed with my friends from home, I don’t usually talk to them on the phone,” said Schutte. “I usually just text with them, and at some point, it feels like you’re talking to a computer.”
“There’s something, too, about not having to talk about it and not having the physical comfort,” said Schutte. Keeping in touch with friends is great, but actually hanging around them does wonders.
Connecting to the community can be a great way to forge social bonds that satisfy touch deprivation.
Barney, who works at a local after-school program, said that working in a familial environment where she gets to act as an older-sister figure is her form of community bonding.
Take this with a grain of salt, but even friends-with-benefits can be a source of connection.
“The initial reports on [friends-with-benefits] and the research on that said that it was beneficial, but then follow-up studies have said that the friends-with-benefits type of relationship can be complicated, it can be successful, but it has to be managed very carefully,” said Hurtado.
Grassie said she suggests the less confusing options, like “deep conversations or engaging in values-driven discussions or engaging in activities together that promote bonding.” However, taking dance classes, getting massages, or even giving yourself a foot rub will all do the job.
The key is understanding your own needs and finding ways to meet them — whether that’s through intentional physical connection or alternative forms of comfort.
words_amber mason. photo_valentina gomez. design_joel wainberg.
This article was published in Distraction’s Spring 2025 print issue.
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