When former “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart announced his retirement, tears were shed, and the world scrambled to find a replacement.
Last week, it was announced that comedian Trevor Noah would replace Stewart when he steps down this year. (Stewart has not given on official date when he is going to step down.)
Noah was the first South African comedian to appear on “The Tonight Show” and on “The Late Show with David Letterman.” He has also made brief appearances on the “Daily Show” as a correspondent before being cast as host.
Now, we all know how great Trevor Noah is, but when it comes to what the people really want, can he rally the troops like our very own Donna can?
Here are 10 reasons why Donna Shalala should have been the one to replace Jon Stewart as host:
10. She can do no wrong.
We all know this. It is actually a proven fact validated by a top-secret CIA research program that Donna can never do anything wrong. Why is it top secret? Because if other countries knew that we had a perfect being running our university, it could actually be a threat to our national security. World War III would break out over who gets to house this most perfect being. I love you Trevor, but the CIA has yet to prove that you can do no wrong. #sorry
9. Her best friend is an ibis.
Oh, who’s your best friend? What have you all done?
Because Donna Shalala and her best friend Sebastian have transcended both racial and animal lines.
8. She has friends in high places
I’m sorry, when was the last time your university president just casually called up Bill and Hillary, and was like, “Yo?”
Hm?
Because Donna does this daily.
I guarantee she even knows Queen Elizabeth II too.
In fact, they are probably on the phone right now planning their vacation to the Bahamas.
7. Donna DGAF
Donna has been through a lot. She was one of the very first Peace Corps volunteers, ever.
She was Secretary of Health and Human Services.
Some (mainly me) could even argue that as Secretary of Health and Human services, she is responsible for our births.
Donna has been criticized, made fun of and even disliked by a blasphemous few.
But do you think Donna cares?
Nope.
Because Donna knows what’s best and in the end, she is always right.
6. She is a great interviewer
What do Adriana Huffington, Hillary Clinton and The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor all have in common?
That’s right – Shalala interviewed them all and the interviews were insightful and beautiful.
I laughed and cried at all of them.
#yassDonna
5. She is an even greater interviewee
A good leader is also a great listener and Donna is everything and more.
Check out her interview with Off the Wire.
4. She has experience in politics
I will say this once and I will say it again: Donna knows her way around Washington.
They are basically in the process of naming it after her.
Okay, not really, but they should.
During the Clinton Administration, she served as Secretary of Health and Human Services, and once she leaves UM, she is going to serve as president of the Clinton Foundation.
She knows about Washington and she is more than qualified to speak on all things Washington while also calling out the BS at Capitol Hill. #yassDonna
3. She knows how to reach the people
I’m sorry, when was the last time you were stopped to take a selfie?
Donna does this every day because people love her!
When was the last time you were famous enough to be featured in a “Got Milk?” campaign? Because Shalala did it.
I’m drinking a glass of milk right now only because she is.
2. People already know her
Everyone knows Donna – she is a public figure!
She has a beloved reputation both in Washington and in our hearts.
Plus, she is already known in the pop culture crowd!
Don’t believe me?
Flashback to this SNL skit where Kevin Spacey as Donna Shalala joined Will Ferrell as Janet Reno at Janet Reno’s Dance Party.
1. Donna was kind of president of the U.S.
You know that rule where one cabinet member has to sit out in case the nation goes into a major crisis during the State of the Union?
Yeah. In 1996, during her time as Secretary of Health and Human Services, Donna was chosen as the designated survivor to sit out and rule the country should anything happen to the officials in the presidential line of succession.
Also, as Secretary of Health and Human Services during the Clinton Administration, should a catastrophic event happen otherwise, she was 11th in line for the presidency.
So basically, she was leader of the free world.
Who could compete with all that?
words_chidera anugwom. photo illustration_yili wu.
Chidera Anugwom is a junior from Houston majoring in Geography and minoring in Broadcast Journalism on the premed track. Her dream is to become the Nigerian version of CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, treating patients around the globe and reporting on healthcare. In her free time, Chidera enjoys reading her Organic Chemistry textbook and following Beyoncé on Instagram.